


Hustle Rose

by rachelthesquid



Category: DCAU - Fandom, DCU (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics), Poison Ivy (Comics)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Hurt and comfort, PTSD, Past Abuse, but also sort of a downer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 17:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12393102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachelthesquid/pseuds/rachelthesquid
Summary: Ivy is more to Harley than a shoulder to cry on. She is more than a shelter from an abuser. The love between them cannot be defined by the abuse that preceded it, but the influence still lingers.





	Hustle Rose

**Author's Note:**

> Obligatory fic named after and/or based on a song. Hustle Rose by Metric.

There is something more here. There has to be.

Ivy looks at the woman in bed next to her. It's pitch black in their shared hotel room, no TV or digital clocks and the curtains are drawn shut. But she's been awake all night and her eyes have long since adjusted to the darkness. She knows Harley's features well enough to fill in the blanks anyway. She looks at the dark outline and sees her messy pigtails, the curve of her lips, the dimples that form when she smiles.

She bites her lip, anxiety welling up within her. The questions swim through her head, the uninvited self doubt and loathing. Is this all she is? All she can be? A rebound who never leaves, caught in a mean cycle of abuse as the shoulder to cry on. Then panic flutters in her chest and the question she hates most takes over, worming its way in and embedding itself inside her skull.

_Am I the same as him?_

She's not. She knows she's not, but the unease lingers. Ivy would never hurt Harley, she would never manipulate her, she would never knowingly bring her any sort of harm.

_But the only reason Harley is here is because she's been hurt._

A memory invades her logical thinking. Flashes of pain from long healed wounds throb. Quick images she'll never be able to forget race through Pamela's mind. Harley sobbing and bleeding, Ivy's plants burning, and the smile of a madman. The first time she directly intervened in his abuse. Harley had begged for her help. That experience, that trauma, is the reason why it's  _him_ she hears. He voices her every doubt, just as he did that day. 

"You're benefiting from it too, you know. Call me a monster all you like, but you don't actually stop me. Not for good. You just love it when she comes crying to you. Her protector and savior who _never_ _actually_ _saves_ _her_. Just sways her interest while her mind is weakened, is she even able to decide what she wants? I may be a monster, but at least I don't pretend not to be."

Tears of frustration form in the corners of her eyes. She hates knowing he's wrong but feeling like he's right. Ivy inhales slowly and tries to clear his voice from her head. Instead she plays back everything between herself and Harley, every soothing word, every shared laugh, every memory she wouldn't trade for the world.

The tears spill over as Ivy recalls the first time she made Harley laugh, the sweet sound of her bubbly laughter beginning to drown out the nagging anxiety. Ivy takes deep breaths and remembers Harley's reassurance when she voiced her doubts about their relationship.

"C'mon, Red! You're nothing like him, you know that. He's just tryin' ta get in your head, it's what he does. What I have with him is a sickness, Red...what I feel towards you is love. Ivy...Ivy I _love_ you. You make me feel like no one else does, you listen and understand me, you treat me like a real person when everyone else calls me dumb and worthless and a lost cause and..." Harley had begun to cry. Ivy remembered tearing up as well, always terribly sensitive to the sight of Harley's tears. She wrapped her up in a tight embrace and sobbed into her hair. Harley whimpered in her ear. "I love you so much, Pammie."

Ivy is more to Harley than a shoulder to cry on. She is more than a shelter from an abuser. The love between them cannot be defined by the abuse that preceded it.

Her heartbeat has slowed, her tears dried. The gray morning light has started to invade the small room. Her nerves have calmed for now, but Ivy still knows the cold reality.

This, whatever it is, won't last. She knows that the cycle is doomed to repeat. She knows she shouldn't let herself get so close. This would be so much easier if she didn't feel a thing. But whatever small part of her humanity remains is intricately tied to Harley. Every human emotion she experiences is directly related to Harley. The pain and guilt and fury and love - all of it lay beside her on the rough linens of the bed they shared.

Ivy can dream that one day the cycle will end, that it'll be just the two of them and that they'll be happy. But for now, for Harley's sake and for her own, she  pushes away the memories both good and bad. She reminds herself not to get too close.

 


End file.
